If you dare, read on for a chilling glimpse of the usual suspects one might find lurking around the Thief. Don’t worry, though: they’re all quite friendly and make excellent informants on all things grape and hops …
Alias: The Owner
Criminal History: Once a preschool teacher (scandalous!), the Owner gave up life with the little ones for wine, ale, and sake. After opening the Wine Thief with his long-term partner-in-crime, Trina, Paul continued his misdirected ways, searching out fabulous and unique wines that remained budget friendly. You can find him keeping an eye on the loot most days, but rumor has it he’s a real softy.
Favorite Steal: Piraat (Belgian ale) and Cline Cashmere
Known Hangout: The Blue Door Pub
Alias: The Writer
Criminal History: Difficult to catch, the Writer’s usually at her other hideaway, Mounds Park Academy where she teaches English with her only weapon of choice: the red pen. While she’s rarely spotted and descriptions of her appearance are scant, signs of the Writer’s presence appear at the store as new “shelf talkers” show up, giving ideas of what a wine tastes like or what to drink it with. Known for her palate and keen sense of a deal, this one’s definitely trouble.
Favorite Steal: Conclass
Known Hangout: Wherever there’s a book
Criminal History: Born to know and love beer—and his beard—Beerd is all about the brew. While he went to school for film, the degree landed him in the realm of not-so-may-jobs-available, and like many of his in that situation, Beerd took to developing and following his passions. Craft beer took a front seat as this displaced video store clerk found a new outlet for his geek-out ability, and the Twin Cities beer scene has never been the same since. His knowledge and passion impressed the owner and the rest of the crew, and it wasn’t long before Beerd became the beer buyer of the Jail … definitely a movie-worthy tale.
Favorite Steal: Jolly Pumpkin La Roja
Known Hangout: Grumpy’s Northeast
Alias: The Karaoke Sommelier
Criminal History: With an equal love of music, movies, wine, and beer, the Karaoke Som was discovered in sommelier class where she wowed the Owner with her perfect pairing of Zweigelt with a Thanksgiving spread. Now part of the gang, the Karaoke Som cheerfully pairs away helping customers find the perfect pairing for their baked apple and brie salads or leftover Chinese takeout. With a film making degree, a history of playing and touring in bands, and a thriving karaoke business, the K.S. is more connected in town than Comcast. In her downtime, which is rare, she and the Writer share daydreams about working on a vineyard in New Zealand and having pet sheep.
Favorite Steal: Finca El Origen Torrontes
Known hangouts: Grumpy’s and The Triple Rock Social Club
Alias: The Barista
Criminal History: Not anyone can sell wine, and not anyone can make a skinny double latte macchiato. The Barista, however, can do both. Wiping cappuccino foam off her shirt as she runs from her pedestrian life to her criminal one at the Thief, she manages her dual identity well. The only kryptonite to stop the Barista in her tracks appears to be Victorian novels. Shhhh … don’t tell …
Favorite Steal: Tintara Shiraz and Guenoc Claret
Known Hangout: Dunn Brothers, though you can often find her roaming her turf on foot
Alias: The Photographer
Criminal History: The Photographer may have won all kinds of awards for his photojournalism skills, but it was his beer palate, love of dogs, and sense of humor that instantly made him one of the gang. Fun loving and sarcastic with just the right amount of mischief, the Photographer can talk hops with the best of them without getting too heady.
Known Hangout: Bryant Lake Bowl
Alias: The Drifter
Criminal History: This Oklahoma gang member started a road trip to Crater Lake, OR, four years ago, but still hasn’t made it there. Instead, the Owner, impressed by the Drifter’s keen palate and knowledge of wine and ale, enticed the Drifter to stay by bribing him with Marlborough Sauvignon Blancs, Sicilian reds, and many bottles of La Fin Du Monde. The Drifter continues to drift, but does so now by riding his bike and waving to people, and by drifting in and out of music venues and restaurants—especially those with spicy cuisine.
Favorite Steal: Don De Dieu
Known Hangout: The Muddy Pig, on the Internet, or anywhere there are Vienna hot dogs
Informants, Co-Conspirators, and Thugs
The gang couldn’t do it on their own … check out those who help our thieving ways!
Like our look? Marieka “The Artist” Heinlen does all our branding, graphics, and design in both print and web. She’ll make your great ideas even better.
Like our site? David “The Tech” Monaghan is our web guru. If you can dream it, he can make it happen.
Like our paint? Toree “The Muralist” Weleczki is your gal.Faux finishes, murals, furniture painting … she does it all.
Like our spinny thing? Artist Lyman Whitaker is your guy and Worthington Gallery is your place.
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